Making Mediation Safe: Addressing Emotional Abuse in the Divorce Process

Divorce can be emotionally and mentally draining for all parties involved. More often than not, the process can be fueled by anger, resentment, and pain, leading to conflicts, arguments, and sometimes even abuse. Emotional abuse is not something to be taken lightly, and it can have long-lasting effects on those who experience it.

Mediation is a process that can be used during a divorce to help couples come to an agreement without going to court. Mediation can be a safe and effective way for couples to negotiate the terms of their divorce, but it’s important to ensure that it’s a safe space for all parties involved.

Addressing Emotional Abuse in Mediation

Emotional abuse can manifest in various ways during a divorce, such as manipulation, intimidation, humiliation, coercion, and threats. It can also be challenging to identify, as it can sometimes masquerade as concern or love. In mediation, emotional abuse can be an obstacle to reaching a fair and just agreement between the two parties.

For mediation to be successful, it’s imperative to address emotional abuse. The mediator’s role is to be an unbiased party and to ensure that the discussion is respectful and focused. The following steps can help address emotional abuse during mediation.

1. Establish Ground Rules

The mediator needs to set ground rules at the beginning of the session that dictate how both parties should communicate. The rules should emphasize respect, active listening, and an open mind. The rules should also outline specific behaviors that are not acceptable, such as speaking over the other person, interrupting, yelling, or name-calling.

2. Encourage Open Communication

The mediator can encourage open communication by allowing both parties to share their feelings and perspective without judgment. This can also be an opportunity for the parties to express any concerns and suggest ideas for resolving issues.

3. Take a Break

If emotions become too heated, it’s beneficial to take a break. The mediator can suggest taking a break to regroup or cool off before continuing the conversation.

4. Bring up Emotional Abuse

If the mediator suspects emotional abuse is present, they can bring up the issue and ask the parties how they would like to address it. The mediator can suggest taking a break or pausing the session to allow the parties to gather their thoughts.

5. Suggest Outside Support

Mediation can be challenging for some, and outside support can help. The mediator can suggest a therapist or mediator with experience in emotional abuse to provide additional support.

Mediation can be a safe option for those going through a divorce, but emotional abuse can make the mediation process difficult. By following these steps, mediation can be successful for all parties involved, and emotional abuse can be addressed in a proper and healthy way.